I came across this 9-year-old article this morning and was reminded how much God cares for me. Maybe it will be a reminder to you as well! Understanding his fatherly affection for us is key to overcoming spiritual insecurity and self-abuse.
Daniel is 10 now and he walks JUST FINE!
Thirteen months is a magical age!
I’m sure you parents remember it well. Our thirteen month old is babbling! Ironically, in his mind it is a conversation deep as the Mariana. It has meaning and emotion and everything else that constitutes communication. The only thing lacking is the listeners comprehension!
And then there’s the feeble attempt at walking. Our little boy is taking a different approach. I’m not really sure how to explain it, but he walks backwards. Not that he is moving in the wrong direction, but that he is very intentional about picking his feet up as opposed to placing them back on the floor. If you could put an accent mark on his gait, it would be on the upward ascent and not the downward thrust. Maybe our child is immune to gravity, but chances are he’s just experimenting and learning the hard way. As his feet thrust upward they also spread apart. This translates into quite a display of toddling.
There are so many things I’ve learned the hard way. I remember my first few years as a believer. The rhetoric of a heretic and the arrogant advice to others that was an abundant stream flowing from the fountain of ignorance. I’ll look back years from now and see the same slop in this article. We walk a little at a time, not all at once.
Realizing my awkward spiritual gait has often led me straight to the oasis of spiritual insecurity. Insecurity almost always improves our self-righteous performance. Humiliation breeds champions. It is a function of self-preservation. The character that I portray in the public show has often won the approval of my audiences. Practice makes perfect! As long as I can keep it on the stage, life is grand. There is Another, however, Who sees me in the dressing room and out of costume. I mistakenly perceive Him to be my greatest critic reveling in casting judgement on my failures and teetering on the brink of casting me out in his disapproval.
What if God is less like a critic and more like a father? What if the awkwardness of my spiritual gait is to him as Daniel’s toddling is to his mommy and me? I wonder what he thinks of me. I think He believes in me. I trust he hopes for me. I hope he teaches me.
Julie and I clap when Daniel walks…